Those Darn Beginnings...

Where to begin...that seems to be the thing that could drive any writer crazy. Especially this writer in particular. The first six drafts of Desiderium involved switching the beginning scene so many times it almost made my head spin. And now I've finally found the point where it should begin. But now the aggravation stems from how to start it. The first page of my manuscript is no doubt the most edited part of the whole manuscript, because beginnings are the most difficult. They're what suck the readers into the story. They're the first impression the author makes on the reader. And they're hard. The first sentence alone has been revised so many times that I've lost count. And I still don't know if I've gotten it right. The moment I think I do, I give it to one of my beta readers and realize that it won't work for the beginning.

So I've decided to post my current beginning. It's definitely a lot better than it used to be if you look back on posts I did a year or so back on the beginning of my book. But is it good? Let me know your thoughts. Or if you have any of your own stories about beginnings...I would love to hear them.

The Current Beginning of Desiderium:

If I never see this blinking yellow light again it’ll be too soon—way, way too soon. I mean, a girl can only handle so much stress. My gaze falls to the cold shackle clinging to my wrist, and the profanity of a thousand disgruntled pirates swirls around my head.

Okay. So maybe shackle is a bit of a strong word. But this bracelet (which, by the way, is never even the slightest bit annoying or inconvenient) has been stuck to my wrist since the minute I was born, and has been following me around ever since. So to me, the word shackle seems rather fitting.

Now, if I could just go a month without making it mad, I would be golden. I’m pretty sure they would honor me with an award and everything. I can picture the headlines: Seventeen-year-old Rhiley Winters Goes a Full Month without Setting off Desire Sensors—A Role Model to Us All.

But unfortunately for me, this month has thirty-one days, which is about thirty days too many if I’m ever going to meet my goal. They gave me the most temperamental bracelet in the world, so what do they expect? Seriously. This thing starts going off if I even so much as think about how much work I have to do, and how little time there is to do it. (In my defense, though, no teenager should have this much work.)

Actually…to be completely honest, it might maybe be more than just thinking about not having enough time. I might maybe, kind of, sort of let my thoughts become something more—almost, just almost, wanting more time. And then bam, the next thing I know, my bracelet is quick to blink its yellow light of discontent and the Class-D markers in my bloodstream become dangerously close to the legal limit. Which, if you ask me, is unrealistically low. Honestly…point zero two percent? Even the legal blood alcohol level was four times that when people used to drink alcohol. But I somehow doubt that argument will keep the officials from arresting me. In fact, putting up that kind of an argument in front of the officials is exactly the kind of thing that would land me in prison. And I’m way too busy today to make time for going to jail. Maybe tomorrow.

Notable by Marni Bates Review

Another one of my SLJ reviews was recently published. Notable is definitely more for girls, but I thought it was cute. Here's what I had to say:

Gr 9 Up--Following the events of "Awkward" (Kensington, 2012), popular socialite Chelsea Halloway is still recovering from her heartthrob boyfriend leaving her for the most awkward girl in school. Just when she thinks that life can't get any worse, her parents decide to ship her off to Cambodia for a semester abroad with a bunch of know-it-all college students. The trip is torturous for Chelsea, and when she finally starts making friends with some of her travel companions, she and her professor accidentally get caught in the middle of a nefarious drug deal. Her professor is beaten and thrown in jail, and Chelsea is chased out of the hotel by a crazy gunman when she inadvertently steals some of the drugs. Shaken and fearful, she must work with the other students to get everyone out of the sticky situation, and perhaps even get cute and intelligent Houston to notice her in the process. Although part of a series, this fun and humorous coming-of-age story also works as a stand-alone book. The excellent pacing and witty voice will have teens anxious to find out if Chelsea gets the guy and gets out of Cambodia alive. For fans of Meg Cabot and Louise Rennison.--"Candyce Pruitt-Goddard, Hartford Public Library, CT" Copyright 2014 School Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.